Decisions
by saf567
Summary: Carter returns to Chicago with a pregnant Kem. What is the dilemma that faces him as soon as he returns to the ER?
1. Chapter One

Decisions  
  
Author's Note - Well I've been reading fanfics for long enough so thought it was about time I wrote one of my own! I don't want to give anything away regarding the storyline of this fic, you'll have to read to find out more. Hope you enjoy it!  
  
Disclaimer - I am in no way associated with the production of ER, I do not own the characters or anything to do with the show.  
  
Spoilers - None, if you are up-to-date with the episodes shown in the US and the UK.  
  
Rating - PG13, just to be safe.  
  
************  
  
Carter entered the ER with more aprehension than perhaps was necessary. Never before had he felt this nervous about coming to work. But then never before had he arrived at the hospital with a pregnant girlfriend in tow. He knew deep down that nobody would judge him, more than likely everyone would be thrilled for him and warm to Kem immediately. But there was still that knot of anxiety settled in his stomach as he tightened his arm around Kem's shoulders and guided her through the main doors and into the waiting area. He then proceeded to triage where he gently tapped on the glass, trying to get the attention of the nurse behind the window. Her head immediately shot up,  
  
"Please sit down sir and wait your turn."   
  
Carter looked at her quizzically, then reminded himself that this woman probably had no idea who he was. He certainly couldn't remember seeing her around before he left for Africa. He knocked again, but this time showed his identity card.   
  
"You wanna let me in?" he joked, assisted by a playful smile. The nurse smiled back and opened the doors for him before introducing herself.  
  
"Hi I'm Sam Taggart." she said, shaking his hand. "You must be the famous Dr Carter! I'm sorry about that little incident... I didn't realise who you were!"  
  
"Hey don't worry about it, it could have happened to anybody." he replied, giving her another smile.  
  
"Thanks... look sorry I have to get back to it..." Sam said indicating to her vacant position at the triage desk. "I'll see you around." And with that she was gone.  
  
Carter looked around him. He could see so many people he knew carrying out their various duties. Frank sat behind the admit desk munching on a doughnut, Chuny and Haleh was standing in the corner gossiping and Weaver was having a rather one-sided conversation with a poor med student. 'Some things never change' Carter thought to himself. It was then that Haleh caught his eye, he hadn't realised he'd been staring. She bounded over to him, a smile spread across her face.  
  
"Carter, you're back!" she exclaimed warmly before engulfing him in a hug. This drew quite a few spectators and before Carter knew what was happening he was being hugged and spoken to from all directions. Suddenly he felt a hand grip his. In his rush to greet everyone he had forgotten about Kem. Everyone around him had gone quiet so he took this opportunity to introduce his new girlfriend to them.  
  
"Everyone this is Kem. We're having a baby together."   
  
There was a short silence before the couple were again met with rounds of hugs and words of congratulations. Carter didn't know why he'd been so nervous earlier. If this was the way half the staff reacted, the other half shouldn't be any different. Except maybe one person...  
  
He hadn't spoken to Abby since he left for Africa the second time. He often laid awake at night thinking about her. Thinking about their relationship. Both of them knew it wouldn't be easy but for a few short months being with her had been the easiest thing in the world. It felt so right. He was even planning to propose. But when his Gamma died and Eric was off his meds everything went downhill. They failed to communicate with one another, it seemed best to keep their feelings to themselves, to put up the barriers and not let anyone break them down. That was their undoing - lack of communication. And as he laid under the African sky thinking about it all, he decided to write the letter. Breaking up with her was one of the hardest things he'd done in his life. But he conceded it was for the best. Then he met Kem and as they say, the rest is history. He wondered though how Abby would take the news of Kem being pregnant. He didn't think she'd be thrilled, but maybe she would be civil enough about it. He hoped they could regain the friendship they had, but that was something he'd have to wait to find out. Surely it wouldn't be long before he bumped into Abby - then maybe some of questions could be answered.  
  
He was jolted out of his thoughts when he felt someone squeeze his hand. Kem had never let go during all the wellwishing.  
  
"Come on," she said softly, "we've got an appointment in OB remember?" And with that Carter led her upstairs.  
  
*************  
  
Carter and Kem exchanged smiles as they left the elevator, Carter proudly carrying the sonogram picture in his hand. Every so often he would look down at it, just to remind himself that it was real, that this little baby was his son. They stopped to talk to Luka and showed him the photo. Luka seemed genuinely pleased for them but had to quickly excuse himself when a nurse alerted him of an incoming trauma.  
  
"Everyone seems really nice" Kem remarked as Carter put his arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Don't speak too soon, you haven't met Kerry yet! She's probably still shouting at that poor guy from earlier on!"  
  
"She can't be that bad!"  
  
"No you're right, she's not. Just do everything she says and you'll be fine!"  
  
Kem giggled and Carter planted a kiss on the top of her head. They began walking towards admit.  
  
It was then that he saw her. She stood in front of the desk, chart in hand. She glanced sideways and caught his eye. She quickly averted her eyes but it was too late, he'd seen her. She reluctantly walked towards him.  
  
"Hi" she said, trying to sound casual.  
  
"Hi Abby" Carter replied. He awkwardly pulled her into hug. "So I see you're back at med school?" he asked, indicating the white coat she was wearing.  
  
"Yeah I needed a change." Carter just nodded his head.  
  
"So who's this?" she asked looking over to Kem.  
  
"Oh this is Kem. We met in Africa."  
  
"Hi, nice to meet you Kem". They shook hands and Kem smiled in return.  
  
Everything was silent for a moment before Abby turned her attention to the photo in Carter's hand.  
  
"So... what's this?" she asked gesturing to the piece of paper. Carter let her take it and studied her face as she looked at it. Her expression was unreadable.  
  
"It's a sonogram picture of our baby boy" Kem blurted out, obviously excited to be sharing the news.  
  
"Oh congratulations" Abby answered politely, giving the photo back to Carter.  
  
"Thankyou" they both said in unison.  
  
After another awkward silence Abby spoke up,  
  
"You know I have one of those sonogram pictures too!" She reached into her pocket, pulling out a similar piece of paper and handed it to Carter. He studied it closely.  
  
"Except mine is a picture of my baby girl."  
  
***************************  
  
Author's Note - Well as I said this is my very first attempt at any kind of fanfic writing. If you have read this and have enough time, please review. It would be nice to see what people think about my writing. Thanks. 


	2. Chapter Two

Author's Note - Thankyou so much for all your kind reviews. Especially to my namesake, Sarah, who threatened to jump off a building if I didn't continue with this! Well I definitely didn't want that on my conscience, so here's the next chapter just for you Sarah! Sorry I didn't get a chapter posted sooner, I've been busy, but now with the holidays here I should be able to write the next chapter fairly quickly and post it soon. But that's not a guarantee so please don't hold me to it! Right on with the story... who's the father of Abby's baby? Well, you will find out in this chapter...   
  
PS There will be another Author's Note at the bottom, just to explain a few things mentioned in this chapter.  
  
*********************   
  
Carter continued to stare down at the photo in his hand. Abby was pregnant? He stole a quick glance at her, she didn't look pregnant. Maybe she wasn't very far along? Her and Kem were probably due around the same time. Then it suddenly hit him... who was the father? His thoughts were interrupted by Kem,  
  
"Oh Abby isn't it amazing?! Just to see what they look like now, when they're inside of you. And a girl? You must be thrilled!"  
  
"Yeah I am." Abby replied with a smile on her face. And she really was thrilled about this pregnancy. It took a bit of time to get used to, but now she couldn't imagine her life without this little person who was growing inside her. She already loved her more than anything.  
  
Carter was still looking at the picture. A baby. Abby's baby. Not his. A lump formed in his throat as it began to sink in - Abby was having another man's baby. But why should he be so upset about it? He was having a child with someone and so was Abby. It was that simple.  
  
"Uh Carter..." he looked up to see Abby looking at him expectantly. "Can I have that back? I really should be getting back to work."  
  
"Oh sure." He handed it to her, glancing at it again before it disappeared into the pocket of Abby's jacket.   
  
Abby turned to leave but stopped when Carter called her name. "Congratulations." he said simply.  
  
"Thanks Carter."  
  
******************  
  
Two hours later and Abby sat in the lounge taking a well-earned rest. She was pregnant, that was a good excuse in itself for a break. But then the ER was swamped with traumas and to top it all off, Carter comes back with a pregnant girlfriend. That was all she needed. She closed her eyes, intent on getting a few minutes sleep before being dragged back into the madworld. She heard the door open but her eyes remained shut.  
  
"Hi Abby." Great it was Carter. What should she do? Pretend to be asleep? That might work. She concentrated hard on not moving an inch of her body.  
  
A minute passed before she felt someone, she presumed Carter, take a seat next to her on the sofa. Then she felt something against her face. Her eyes shot open.  
  
"Carter what the hell are you doing?"  
  
"Checking to see if you were ok! You know you haven't taken a breath since I've been in here?"  
  
"I was asleep Carter."  
  
"That's no excuse, you should still breathe when you're asleep!"  
  
"Look Carter... look whatever ok, I don't need this right now." She got up off the sofa and made her way towards the fridge.  
  
"Why? What's wrong? Everything's ok right?"  
  
"Yeah I'm just tired that's all." Abby stifled a yawn, as if to prove her point. She opened the fridge door and retrieved a carton from her stash of chocolate milk.  
  
"Well you should take it easy. That's what I keep telling Kem." Abby simply nodded in reponse.  
  
"Speaking of Kem, where is she?"  
  
"Oh I sent her back to the mansion. My shift started an hour ago. Didn't seem fair to ask her to stay, there's not much to do around here."  
  
"Well that's true" Abby replied whilst trying unsuccessfully to open the top on her drink. "Damn stupid cartons."  
  
"Here, let me try." Carter offered whilst getting up off the sofa.  
  
"No it's ok..." she said, giving the top another yank, "I think I got..." She stopped talking as the brown liquid cascaded out of the carton, managing to cover her completely from the waist upwards.   
  
"I think I got it!" she repeated, trying to suppress her giggles. Carter smiled broadly at her before bursting into laughter himself.  
  
"You know Abby I think you should get that jacket off quick. That chocolate milk stuff leaves a bad stain!"  
  
"Oh yeah, good thinking!" She unbuttoned her jacket before taking it off and then soaking it in some water. Hopefully that should get most of it out. She turned around and walked to her locker to locate her spare jacket.  
  
"Um... Abby?"  
  
"Yeah?" She turned around to face Carter. He was staring at her. Well not her, more precisely he was staring at her stomach. Her big stomach, which until then she had successfully hidden. Damn that chocolate milk.  
  
"How far along did you say you were?"  
  
"Um... I didn't." She remained silent. If he wanted to know he'd have to ask.  
  
"Well how far along are you then?" There was a long pause before Abby answered.  
  
"Six months."  
  
"Six months?! When we were talking before I thought you were at the same stage as Kem - hell you didn't look six months pregnant then. In fact you didn't look pregnant at all!"  
  
"Ah that's due to a wonderful invention called buttoned-up jackets that are sizes too big for you. You can hide anything under those things. Nobody suspects a thing. Only Susan knows. Well her, and now you and Kem."  
  
"Well you've done well keeping it hidden for this long, but I don't think... hang on... six months? Abby, we were still together then..."  
  
Abby looked down to the floor. He'd figured it out. Not long now and it would all be out. Everything she'd been trying to hide for the last few months. She could see his black shoes move closer towards her.  
  
"Abby?" She kept her eyes fixed onto the ground. "Please Abby, look at me."  
  
She slowly lifted her head and her eyes locked onto his own chocolate pools. She loved his eyes, she could tell so much from them. She sensed the hesitance in him.   
  
"Is the baby mine Abby?" He searched her eyes looking for some clue. Tears were starting to form in the corner of them. His heart started to beat faster. His palms became sweaty. In his heart he knew the answer, he just needed to hear her say it.  
  
"Yes. She's yours Carter."  
  
Carter felt his lips start to form into a smile and was vaguely aware of the tears welling up in his eyes. He tentatively reached out his hand and placed it on her swollen belly. His daughter was inside there.  
  
"We're gonna be ok Abby."  
  
"Carter..." Abby gently lifted his hand and put it down by his side. "I meant what I said earlier... when I said it was my baby. You have Kem and a son on the way. They are your priority now. You gave up the responsibility of this little one when you went to Africa."  
  
Carter looked at her, crestfallen. Surely she couldn't mean that? "But Abby I'd like to be involved."   
  
"Yes and I'm not denying you that. Of course you can be involved, she's your daughter. But we, me and you, we just can't be together. You're with Kem. She's your girlfriend, not me."  
  
Carter nodded his head, swiping at the tears that were starting to fall down his cheek.  
  
"You're right Abby. I'm sorry. It's just, now I don't have just Kem and the baby. I have another baby as well. A baby girl that's gonna be my oldest child. And I have you as the mother of my oldest child. I'm sorry Abby, it just takes a bit of getting used to."  
  
"Don't apologise, it must be hard for you." Abby reached into her locker and found her spare jacket. She put it on, making sure the buttons were all buttoned properly.  
  
"You still not up for people finding out?" Carter asked inquisitively.  
  
"No not yet. But I am doing you a favour in a way. When they find out how pregnant I am they're gonna know you're the father. They might not be so welcoming with you next time. Or Kem for that matter. At least if I keep it quiet for a bit longer you have more time to be prepared for what people might say."  
  
"Well I guess I should thank you then! And I mean thankyou for everything Abby. Thankyou for keeping the baby. Thankyou for giving me a daughter."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
He opened up his arms, inviting her for a hug. She walked towards him wrapping her arms around his waist. His arms wrapped around her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head. "Thankyou" he whispered.  
  
They pulled apart after a few moments.  
  
"Abby I have a question."  
  
"Ok..."  
  
"Did you know you were pregnant before I went to Africa? The second time?"  
  
Abby remained silent.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"I thought I might have been. But I didn't know for sure."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have gone to Africa if I had known."  
  
"I asked you to stay Carter... but you didn't. You went anyway."  
  
"But I didn't know about the baby! If I had known about the baby I would have stayed here with you."  
  
"So you're saying you would have stayed with me just because I was pregnant with your baby?!"  
  
"Well yeah Abby. I wouldn't have gone to a war-torn country if I knew I was going to be a dad. I wouldn't let my baby grow up without a father. It's the best thing for a child to grow up with a mother and a father. So yes, I probably wouldn't have broken up with you if I'd known about the baby. I would have stayed here."  
  
The cogs started turning in Abby's head. Suddenly a thought pinged it's way to the front of her mind. She couldn't shake it, she'd have to ask him.  
  
"Carter..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Do you really love Kem? Or are you just with her because of the baby?"  
  
*********************  
  
Author's Note - Well that concludes chapter 2. Please review if you have the time. Now some things from this chapter... I have no idea how far along Kem is in the TV series. The earliest you can tell the sex of the baby from a sonogram is 18 weeks I think. That's about 4 months, maybe just over. So in this story Kem is 18 weeks. I also have no idea how long it would be between Abby and Kem getting pregnant. So I've made it 2 months. Just so it would fit into this story better. So Kem is 4 months and Abby is 6 months. That's all I wanted to say I think. Thanks again for all you reviews, I hope you think this chapter was up to standard as well. Thanks, from Sarah x 


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